March 2011
1 post
4 tags
February 2011
1 post
The King's Speech
I went to go see The King’s Speech for two reasons. Reason One: Oscar buzz. Reason Two: It’s black history month and I didn’t want to be called out for being a racist. Long story short, The King’s Speech is great, but Martin Luther King, Jr. is nowhere to be found. In fact, it’s not about him at all. At first I thought they were going for the same thing that Emilio Estevez was doing...
January 2011
2 posts
Trash Humpers and Kevin Smith
What does an experimental movie starring people in prosthetic masks who look like a cross between Johnny Knoxville/Spike Jones’ “Old Man” Jackass characters and the creepy dancing Six Flags guy and film raconteur Kevin Smith have in common? Probably more than you think. But I’ll get to that in a second. First, you probably want to know what the hell Trash Humpers is. Trash Humpers is a movie...
Black Swan
Seeing Black Swan made me long for a Darren Aronofsky helmed Joker movie, starring Heath Ledger and Natalie Portman as Harlequin. I’m going to take Heath Ledgers death as a slight against me personally, because seriously, how cool would that have been? Love him or hate him, Aronofsky knows how to capture “crazy” on celluloid and that isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do. Example: Ellen...
December 2010
1 post
True Grit
Perfection is hard to achieve and harder still to replicate. Where when you watch or listen to certain things, and they inspire greatness in yourself. For me, watching Barry Sanders highlight videos and thinking “I wish I could do anything as good as the things he could do with a football in his hands” or listening to Paul Simon’s “Bridge Over Troubled Waters” and thinking “I wish I could...
August 2010
1 post
The Expendables
The Expendables Since hearing that this movie was a possibility I was in. It was kind of like the Snakes on a Plane phenomenon. Wait, there is a movie called Snakes on a Plane starring Sam Jackson? Well, I’ll be seeing that movie. Same thing goes with The Expendables. So you’re telling me Sylvester Stallone is writing/directing/starring in a movie with Dolph Lundgren? Yes. And...
July 2010
2 posts
Inception
Inception Written and Directed by Christopher Nolan Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Kn Watanable and Tom Berenger A lot of what I do here is comparing one movie to another occurrence or event and pointing out weird (sometimes half-assed) parallels between the two works. Inception doesn’t really allow me to do that. It is truly it’s own unique...
The Twilight Saga: 90210
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Directed by David Slade Written by Melissa Resenberg (Based on the novel by Stephenie Meyer) Starring Kristen Steward, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke and Taylor Lautner Going into the film, I knew very little about the Saga but I was never a Twilight hater – it is just something I didn’t care much about. I am amused by the ire the series tends to draw though. When...
June 2010
4 posts
Twilight Running Diary
11:14 p.m. I decided to get a couple beers before embarking on my Twilight Journey. From 10:45p rill now the line has more than doubled in size with Tweens, scrary middle aged guys here without kids and an umbrella, a van who I am sure will be recruiting kids to help find his dog or check out the awesome “figures” he has in his basement. They are selling RedBull in line. Twilight fans...
Pre-Twilight: Eclispe
So, I am doing it. I am seeing “Twilight: Eclipse” tonight (Wednesday, June 29) at the 12:01 a.m. screening. This is what One Movie A Week has brought me to — “Sex and the City 2” and “Twilight: Eclispe” in the same summer (which will also most certainly lead to my first period and yeast infection. Are you there god? It’s me, Chris. And I’m scared.)
Seeing that I will be viewing Twilight: Eclipse...
Toy Story 3
Toy Story 3 Directed by Lee Unkrich Written By Michael Arndt, Johm Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich Staring Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack Ned Beatty Don Rickles, Michael Keaton and a lot more. It is a rare thing these days to go and see a movie, spend $12.50 a ticket for a matinee and walk out an hour and a half later and feel like you should go plop down another $12.50. I saw it...
Splice or Science People Doing Science-y Stuff
Splice Directed by Vincenzo Natali Written by Vincenzo Natali, Antoinette Terry Bryant and Doug Taylor Starring Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley and Delphine Chanéac It is because of late-term abortion opponents that a movie like Splice even exists, because at some point I am sure somebody took a look at a cut of this film and thought about stabbing it in the heart with a coat hanger. But it was too...
May 2010
6 posts
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (These are the...
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Directed by Mike Newell Written by Boaz Yakin, Doug Miro and Carlo Bernard (based on a story by Jordan Mechner) Staring Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Alfred Molina and Ben Kingsley Now, I am not “Hollywood insider” but I am pretty sure the pitch meeting for Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time went a little something like this: Producer: Ok....
Sex and the City 2: The Secret of the Ooze
Sex and the City 2 Directed by Michael Patrick King Written by Michael Patrick King (Based on the book by Candace Bushnell and the TV show created by Darren Star) Staring Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristen Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall and Chris Noth I started writing this review by kind of “poking fun” at Sex and the City (which I had been mistakenly been calling Sex IN the...
MacGruber - And the Case of the...
MacGruber Directed by Jorma Taccone Written by Will Forte, John Solomon and Jorma Taccone Starring Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Ryan Phillippe, Val Kilmer, Maya Rudolph and Powers Boothe. Deciding to see MacGruber this weekend was kind of a mixed bag for me. It was made easier after looking at the choices my local cinema was offering. The only other new movie that the AMC in Tyson’s...
A Tale of Two Trailers
Salt
The Adjustment Bureau
Above are two different trailers to, in my opinion, the same type of movie: The action thriller. Now, maybe The Adjustment Bureau isn’t all that action-y but, I think that is the vibe they are going for. Regardless, since I haven’t seen either of the flicks, I don’t really know. What I would like to point out is that whomever cut the...
Robin Hood (2010) - von Sydow's Tumescent Glow
Robin Hood (2010) Directed by Ridley Scott Screenplay by Brian Helgeland Starring Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Max von Sydow and William Hurt First let me just say, I was not excited about this movie. I hadn’t heard much about it and then saw the trailer before Ironman 2 and thought it looked too much like a Lord-of-the-Rings-y type film. There is that one swooping camera shot of a giant...
Iron Man 2 - The Iron Manining
Iron Man 2
Directed by Jon Favreau
Screenplay by Justin Theroux
Staring: Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johansson, Gwyeneth Paltrow, Sam Rockwell, Mickey Rourke and John Slattery.
What I thought: Where to begin. Writing reviews is much harder than I thought it would be. I guess I should start off by saying I liked it. Iron Man 2 is a really fun movie that is full of action,...